Leap of faith
Coming back from t'pub, a skinful of real ale and a kebab heavier, I decided to take a shortcut. This involved navigating several levels of stairs and walkway across an open, landscaped area of city-centre. This I had done many times before, as this was my usual route from the local to my mate's home, where we would continue to imbibe after last orders, until it was time for me to head to my home up the (short) hill beyond. My mate, I won't name him as it is irrelevant to the present tale, decided to play it safe and watch as I leapt, Parkour-stylee, over the low concrete walls and fences. In my inebriated over-exuberance, I leapt a metal fence with unusual vigour, spinning my shoulders so my body followed suit in a classic, mid-air pirouette that would have made Tony Hawks proud. Unfortunately the ground was rather further than I had expected. In fact, having leapt from a 4 foot high fence another 2 feet into the air, the full distance to the concrete floor was about 12 foot, and it was dark. My mate described his surprise as I launched myself into the firmament, only to disappear, with a faint yelp, behind the wall. He was the only witness, and he was far enough away that he didn't see much. I'm glad no one else saw me, although while I was writhing in agony at the bottom of the wall I was mainly thinking "Fucksocks this hurts!" Had to be carried home, hospital the next day, x-ray all fine. The doc said bruised heels - a roofer's injury sustained mainly by builders sliding too fast down ladders. Sounds lame (I was lame for 2 weeks) but I could not walk for 2 weeks. Two bloody weeks. I keep my skateboard fantasies firmly in my mind these days.
(IdlePeAcEsign if trouble were my mistress, i'd send her to them, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 20:02, Reply)