I did a sex dance..
In front of the mirror while completely naked after I'd just got out the shower.It's not unlike the clichéd tribal rain dance you're likely to see on some disneyesque type show...only more animated.The important bit,and please indulge me for a moment here by closing your eyes and creating a timeless mental image, is that your testicles and flaccid member swing in unison while you hold your hands above your head and make faces at the mirror akin to a monkey on crack having a pineapple inserted up it's rectum while being gently shocked with 10 000 volts.

Thankfully the mrs exited the bathroom directly after the completion of said dance and was none the wiser, save for the smug self satisfied look on my face.

Later that night I did indeed get sex, but I'm still not entirely sure if it was the sex dance,my devastatingly good look looks and quick wit or the fact that I surreptitiously snuck up on her while she was sleeping.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 10:26, 1 reply)

'Flaccid member,' eh?
Weren't exactly putting your heart into it, were you?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 14:21, closed)