By thunder...
Last night I had a couple of hot dogs with fried onions, LOTS of fried onions. I don't know about you folks but fried onions has an effect on my guts which leads to nice build up excess gas that the following day feels the need to escape.

The moment I woke up this morning, I'm parping like an over excited trumpet player, I could almost play a pitch perfect rendition of God Save the Queen.

Parp in the shower (nice echo effect there), parp eating breakfast, parp in the car on the way to work. I'm having a parping good time, and thankfully these farts of thunder don't smell... at least I don't think they do.

Of course, I can't exactly parp once I got to the office, what with it being open planned and my colleagues being mostly of the female persuasion. So, much sneaky parpiness is required where I raise one arse cheek off my chair and gently let loose a fart-light.

Time passes as it does and people go in and out of the office, meetings to attend, coffee breaks to be had, gossiping to gossip over. The office at lunch time is fairly quite with me and only a couple of other ladies in the office,

I've got a pair of headphones on listening to some tunes to get me through a particular tedious bit of repetition when I feel the pressure building down below. This one felt like a doozy, I knew it was gonna be a special one, the thumping tunes I'm listening to seem to be aiding on the build up of pressure. I'm so caught up in the music though that I'm not thinking and without any sort of hesitation I let loose a thunderous thunderclap of a fart that shook my seat and rattled the fillings in my teeth. I was quite surprised by the ferocity of it that it drowned out the music I was listening too.

I was pleased and gave it a hearty 10/10.

Then my brain kicked in when I realised where I was, a look around the office thankfully showed that I was on my own.

Releived that no-one heard the wonderpuff I settled back down and carried on working, though I do admit to being slightly disappointed that it wasn't a shared experience.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 16:35, 4 replies)

You know how...

When someone yawns and it makes other people yawn too? Like it's 'contagious'?

Well, whilst reading this post I produced a pan-galactic gargle blaster of a guff, that even now is making me type through the tears in my eyes.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

*Clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Feb 2011, 16:44, closed)

Hahahahahaha
A click for both of you.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 22:33, closed)

Post about farts.

Replies by Pooflake and Sadarse.

The circle is complete.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 9:00, closed)

Last week
let off a lovely "silent" one at the bus stop, happy that no-one but me knew I'd done it.
Then saw woman looking at me in disgust.

Ipods are evil....
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 10:25, closed)

Anonymous admission is one thing...
I worked with a chap that turned up late one morning.

His excuse?

"I was driving in to work and felt a lovely fart brewing, so I let rip, only to realize I'd shat myself. So I had to go home and change."

No shame some people!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:03, closed)