a few years ago
i moved into my current abode, which is roughly a mile away from where i grew up.
one fine and warm early summer's day, i decided to take myself off for a walk to one of the local parks and revisit my childhood. i loved playing in that park as a kid, it had some great hide-and-seek spots, a little pond and the best climbing tree ever.
humming softly to myself, i ambled along the path when, lo and behold, i spotted my old climbing tree. my, that took me back. despite the fact that i'd only grown about 3 inches taller(and 3 feet wider), that tree looked so much smaller than it used to. after a quick look round for dog-walkers or playing children, i decided to try and climb the tree.
huffing and puffing, hauling my excess girth with me, i climbed to the flattened-out top branches, wherein lay my favourite spot, which was like a seat. i sat there for a while, happily looking out over the park to my right and the marina to my left. sadly, my bulk made sitting on a branch far more uncomfortable than i remembered so, after ten minutes, i decidedd to climb back down.
i manouvered myself towards what appeared to be a sturdy branch and put my weight on it. one ominous CRACK! and the feeling of leaves hitting all parts of my body later, i was lying flat on my back on the hard-packed dirt under the tree, completely winded. it took about half a minute before i could breathe again and at least 3 times that before i could drag my carcass into an upright position. i stumbled out of the undergrowth, again searching for potential witnesses. thankfully, there were none.
untangling bits of twig and leaves from my hair as i went, i made my painfully bruised way back home.
i've never climbed a tree since.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 17:47, Reply)