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This is a question I'm glad nobody saw me

Have you ever done something, realised how stupid or embarrassing it was and then looked about to see if anyone watching? Did you get away with it?

Suggested by Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic, chosen by YOU

(, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 15:49)
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Sex-haunted castle
Many years ago, I had the privilege to be my best friends Best Man. The wedding and the reception was to be held at a beautiful castle in the Scottish Borders. This thing proudly presents a massive hole in it's outer layer of stone where someone at sometime fired a cannonball at it, and didn't make it through the double glazing of the dark ages.

About 2 weeks before the beautiful day, the bride/groom, their respective families, and myself all roll up to the castle to go over various last minute things. As we're driving up onto the shingle, the sun beats down, and the air is beautifully clear. Things couldn't get much better than this.

But as we parked up, I realised that I had been driving for 2 hours and needed to clear my back alley from a minor obstruction that was starting to cause a backlog. So once we had made the pleasantries of introductions, I quickly scurried away to find the nearest public convenience, which was conveniently close by.

So I'm sat there, relaxing away, have myself a little pee, and then the blockage started to free itself. This was no eye watering event, it was no larger than I normally attain. Other than the mere fact I was in a beautiful castle, in beautiful surroundings on a gorgeous summer's day, it was merely an every day event taking place.

Every day event, except this time, I jizzed. Somehow, I must have been wanked off by a dirty ghost from the history of the castle, without me even realising it, and the knobbly brown fingers of the tickling turd had finally milked the old prostate, and made my little fella cry tears of joy. I was neither erect, nor did I have any feeling of exultation.

I was rather glad that nobody had seen me get wanked off by a ghost, and poo fingered to bring forth the haunted seed.

But obviously the ghost that wanked me off was not content with that, and probably somewhat annoyed that I neither got erectus maximus for her, nor did I actually orgasm. As come the wedding night, after having far too much alcohol to drink, I was neither capable, nor wanting to have any fun, but the morning after, oh yes I was. So me and the then girlfriend got down to some naughtiness. I got two strokes of the piston engine, and I came! The ghost had gotten her own back, and made me look a right failure in front of the girlfriend. And the girlfriend never let me live that one down.

Still, it was beautiful!
(, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 20:07, 2 replies)
some weeks this may have seemed a litlle wierd, but you posted the same week as
(, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 21:15, closed)
This never happened out of sexual experimentation. And I will never beat the "I jizzed in my own ass" story. That deserves it's own pedestal.
(, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 7:35, closed)

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