Staggeringly drunk on toxic homebrew
Some friends and I staggered into town on a Friday evening. We were young, still living with our parents, and the plan was to stagger as far away from my friends house before the homebrew rendered us even more completely stupid than we already were.

After we made it into town, taking drunken delight in all manner of foolish activities (attempting to climb trees, attempting to jump over benches and so on), one of us decided to set fire to a rubbish bin.

Thankfully, due to complete lack of concentration and coordination, this didn't work out, and so we carried on our merry way.

Having got a good half mile from the poorly attempted arson, we were all surprised at the portable disco that screeched to a halt near us, and less amused when a couple of cops got out and headed our way. "Right then lads", one of them sighed, "what are you up to?". Mumbling didn't work, and he just shook his head and said "Look, three lads fitting your descriptions were seen attempting to set fire to a bin, and then wandering off. Was it you?". A mumbled "yes officer", and a nod of the head. "Right then you, what's your name?" he said, looking at me. Gave him my name, and my unfortunately unusual surname. "Say, you don't have a relative living at this address" he replied, rattling off my grandmother's address. "Erm yes" I mumbled. Turns out he was an old next door neighbour of my grandma, and recognising my name, right assumed we were related.

"She wouldn't be very happy if she saw the state you were in right now, would she?" he remarked. "If I was to tell her about this, how do you think she'd feel, eh?". My, formidable grandmother, would do doubt be hearbroken at her criminal grandsons antics. "Look" he said, "On your way, and we'll say no more about it, but I catch you again, you're for it".

I don't know if you can be arrested for being a drunken twat, unsuccessfully attempting to set fire to a bin, and learning my lesson, I may never know. Thanks random copper, for not grassing me up to my grandma.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 15:07, 2 replies)

This "random copper" of which you speak,
Perhaps you mistook this perceived randomness for simple mathematical unpredictability? It's easy to imagine that you'd be very confused given your inebriation.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 15:32, closed)

You're right, of course
I would say unexpected copper, but really, acting like such dicks, a copper was surely expected.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 15:45, closed)