You're all very kind for your comments...

I have just returned from the pub where I indulged in a drinkie or three with brother-flake, to whom I told about what I had posted (he’s a B3tard too, but he sticks to lurking). He then reminded me of our wonderful friend Craig who used to go on fishing trips with my bro.

Craig would...‘hold it in’…sometimes for days before a trip...just because he sooo savoured the sensation of pinching out a large loaf outdoors. Apparently he used to discuss it in depth as they sat on the river bank…’Why is it a lighter colour?’ was a favoured topic.

R.I.P. Craig – I miss you.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:58, 2 replies)

On the 'lighter colour' argument
I have a theory. You know that optical illusion where a colour appears different depending on what background you place it against?

This is the one.

Well, if you pinch a loaf outdoors, the earth/dirt/grass is going to be darker than your lovely white porcelain, right? So by comparison, your bumlog is going to look lighter, no?

Of course, you should carry out experiments with a turd in a box and some pantone charts to be absolutely sure.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:43, closed)

clicks to you sir for the op. great stuff.
As for the al fresco, I should enjoy curling one out in front of some lovely seascapes while fishing. My mates seem to but I have a shy sphincter and often hold it for 2 or 3 days until i'm on my own throne.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:02, closed)