Mums ashes
Before mum died, she requested her ashes be spread off Brighton pier, in the North Sea, and in the Pacific. My brother dutifully did the stuff in the UK, and then August of that year him, my sis in law, mums partner and mums best friend flew out to California to visit me and to do the Pacific ashes.

I did a bunch of research, and discovered it's illegal to scatter ashes off a pier or into a harbour area - basically, you have to charter a boat to take you out beyond the breakwaters. And it costs a fucking fortune. And sis in law gets seasick, and the option of fishing wasn't an option (arse!)

Bollocks to that. We went to the pier in Huntington Beach, and sneakily threw mums ashes into the ocean, along with a bunch of flowers. After the goodbyes and the hugs between us all, we turned around to find 5 motorbike cops with their helmets off.

Turns out the penalty for illegal ash scattering is *up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine*.
(nolongernuts, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 23:23, 10 replies)

Fucks ache
I hope the penalty for actually nicking someone for ash scattering is a painful testicular torsion that lasts for 20 years.
And that's for the WPCs...
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 23:55, closed)

The cops didn't give a shit.
It was pretty cool that they showed respect for what it was. Especially HB cops - they're evil fuckers.
(nolongernuts, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 0:31, closed)

May they have their testicles sucked out of their rectums
by a nasty felching poo-leech.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 7:23, closed)

The missing episode of CHiPs?

( Ghoti Fingers, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:06, closed)

Why were they going to fine you in dollars?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:45, closed)

because he was in california?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 9:44, closed)

I'm an idiot.
I read 'Brighton' and 'North Sea' and didn't pay much attention to the rest after I realised who wrote it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 10:22, closed)

I read "off Brighton pier, in the North Sea"
and wondered why I always thought it was in the English Channel.

That explains why it's so ball-shrinkingly cold, then.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 11:17, closed)

Cos I live in California and we use dollars here.

(nolongernuts, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 18:45, closed)

i've already explained this.
get your own fucking schtick.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 19:04, closed)