Coppers examine drugs
Another tale from me, this time more a friend avoiding getting his collar felt, inevitably involving massive drugs.

First, some back story. A friend of mine put on a free festival in September. There had been various dry runs conducted throughout the summer, occasionally with bands but usually just some DJs, some woodland and no licence whatsoever. For the finale though it was decided to do a more professional job, and so some land was procured in a fairly rural location and a licence to sell alcohol was also obtained.

A few tents of varying degrees of sturdiness were erected, a stage was made out of pallets, a bar with a bathtub full of cans was installed and the place was decorated with flags and wall hangings. Truth be told it looked as good as your average tent at a legitimate small festival.

Bands played all afternoon, many people took far too many mushrooms, and the revelry continued. Around 11pm the music switched over to DJs and much doofing was heard through to the morning.

It was at about 10am that the boys in blue decided to come and tell us to turn it down. They'd apparently had noise complaints all night but I can only assume that the presence of an alcohol license was enough for them to decide not to act earlier.

As the coppers walked into the tent, my friend T was standing in the middle of the dance floor with a bag of MDMA in his hand. The coppers were perfectly pleasant in every way, but they understandably insisted that T come with them for a chat in their jam jar.

In a display of presence of mind that I consider almost superhuman, T explained how he had just at that moment noticed the bag on the floor and had picked it up because he was intrigued by the pattern printed on it.

“What do you think that is, it sort of looks like a spiderweb, doesn't it?” he reportedly said to the police.

Having skilfully distracted the peelers from the reason he was in there, the coppers evidently joined his train of thought and discussed with him their thoughts on the bag's design.

Naturally the police also wanted to search him, and they found a small amber bottle of liquid on his person. The police asked him if it was poppers, and he said that it was, so “well that's legal, you can keep that”. It was LSD.

So to my friend T I can only offer my respect at getting away with it so elegantly and effortlessly.
(Eukanuba, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 12:53, Reply)