Adoption issues
Are a strange thing, and obviously can be emotive, but have you considered that it may be a convenient peg to hang something else on? I only mention this as it is the only way I can explain the behaviour of my own sister. We were both adopted, raised through very happy childhoods by (the same) loving mum & dad, I am happy and have never felt strongly bothered about pursuing my biological 'family'. Mum is dead now, dad is still alive, and they have always been good enough for me. To hear my sister speak, you would not believe we were talking about the same family, same childhood, same mum & dad. She has 'found' her 'real' family, which she did before mum died, causing huge heartache in the process. It has fucked up her life in many ways, but I really don't think that adoption was the issue. I was the second child, with a 2.5 yr gap, and even now at almost 45, I still believe that she has never recovered from good old-fashioned sibling jealousy, having been removed from centre-stage for a while, following my arrival. Having always been 2nd in the pecking order throughout childhood, I was astonished the first time I heard her claim (scream, actually) that I was always the favourite, and got everything I wanted. This must mean that I wanted the smallest room, less pocket money, and occasionally having to wear supiciously feminine-looking Tshirts, and jeans that buttoned the wrong way and didn't have much room 'in front' :@ D (we were'nt flush with cash for quite a while)
This may, of course, bear no resemblance to your own situation, which would be just as well, as I have no answer for you. My sis is still bitter, angry, self-obsessed, and there appears to have been fuck all I could do about it, over the years. I've now given up, and filed it under "just dunno, really", as I find I'm much happier if I ignore her and just try to remember the neicephews' birthdays occasionally :@ ]
Good luck.
( blyerkit e k trilby, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 10:03, Reply)