Pfffft! Syspro for dummies!
Oh no... Where do I start?

Loopy numerous sandwiches short of a picnic invoice person decides to select PRINT ALL invoices (each invoice is a a4 page, bear that in mind).
We have in the region of about 9 months worth of invoices stored, round figure is about 25 thousand.

I got alarm bells ringing when print server goes on a go slow, and when I check, theres somewhere in the region of about 900Mb of print jobs to do with this print job that the silly bint had decided to knock out.
SHIT! Kill server - KILL KILL KILL services, emergency fucking escape eject!
Takes me a while to delete all the spooled files and restart the server, whilst lots of people are screaming.

When I showed her the logs, her excuse?

"The computer did it all by itself."

Yes, Annette, but the logs here show that you pressed the wrong buttons.

"I DID NOT!! I KNOW HOW TO WORK A COMPUTER!"

She then proceeds to fuck a telephone off the desk.
Excuse? The curly lead just curled up by itself.

Mother of god.

Or... "My mouse isn't working"
Is it working at all?
"Yes, but its really hard to control, its all over the place!"
Hmmmn. I'll have a look.

Turns out they had decided to bring in their own mouse, and their cuntish manager had plugged it in for them. Seeing as their own mouse had about 2 years of dust, dirt and fag ash accumulated in it, I made the comment that 1, its not the original mouse, and 2, its rather dirty, you need to clean it!

Response? "Well, you are the computer man, aren't YOU supposed to clean it?"

Me : No. And walks off.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Fri 22 Sep 2006, 21:14, Reply)