When I was a wee young lad
My crappy junior school got sponsored by Tesco and got a big stack of PCs thrown their way.

Needless to say, we were all quite excited by this, as every other computer in school was made by Acorn or Pineapple or some other strange, hermit-like shit company.

So, they decided to hire some old cow to be the IT teacher, despite the fact she probably thought it was a typewriter tied to a tv.

So, we started having weekly IT lessons. Bear in mind I'm about 9 at this moment, it was tedious. Thus, I liked doing confusing things to the teachers.

They hadn't done anything to alter the settings since the computers got dropped off. And, as such, I felt quite copmpelled to alter the computers.

Cue parents evening, where we could show our parents whatever crappy drawings we had done, and the teachers make snidey comments, as being a child, I couldn't understand a chuffing word.

Mum: "Hey, the desktop on that PC is different to the others."

Teacher: "Yeah, we thought we had a virus, but the repairmen can't seem to find anything."

I changed the background. Incompetents.

Eventually, the next year, as sheer cheek, they started offering "IT Learning Classes for parents", as somehow they thought they would know more than people who actually own computers and work on them for a living.

I think it sank in once my mum laughed at the other parent who said "What's this thing you push with your hand called?"

So as a parting gift, I changed all desktop and appearance-related stuff to huge and black. All icons, fonts, start menu, taskbars, everything was pure black. Try navigating that! Before which, I also changed all their passwords. They deserved it, the wankers.

Length? Girth?
You love it, you filthy slaaaags.
(fantomex, Wed 27 Sep 2006, 14:29, Reply)