I made it
Onto the Big Breakfast. It was the day Denise Van Outen and Johnny Vaughan made their big comeback to the show. I was attending thanks to my sister nominating me for the belching competition.

I turned out to be a rather surreal day. Sandwhiched on a sofa between David 'I am not a movie starrr' Ginola and the dwarf bloke that used to do britains bounciest weather on 'Live TV'.

My turn came, and along with 3 other wannabe belchers we took stage one at a time. The thing about the setup was this: There were two mics mounted on a table, one a decebel reader and the other a standard mic.

We had to belch into the decebel reader and the loudest won...

I went last.

After a massive gulp of fizzy pop, I was built up and ready to burst forth.

As I was releasing, Denise motioned I was going toward the wrong microphone (I wasn't), so I turned towards her at the point of no return and belched FULL ON into her face!

The look of pure horror as she recoiled backwards will live with me forever. Any chance of wooing the lovely Denise was now well and truly off.

She was not so good looking in the flesh anyway.......
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:30, Reply)