When I was a wee Chipper
I was in the Sea Cadets, and between learning how to play blackjack and gathering round to smell a thick rope that smelled suspiciously like hemp, we would occasionally have to be seen in the public eye. This took place in the form of a trip to London, where we would be celebrating the anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar. This was also a day of a massive student protest, which will become important in the story later on...

Put simply, it was shit. Absolutely terrible, the parade was a waste of time (I simply faked passing out to get put into a dark and cool room with a glass of water, beats standing around in the blazing sun for another THREE HOURS!) and I couldn't wait to get back on the coach for the gruelling 13-Hour coach ride back to Plymouth.

Things did look up after the Parade, however and we were led into a hotel where I loaded up on free coke and as much watermelon as i could cram into my prepubescant (sp?) face. This did not mix well in my stomach, but I put it to the back of my head and carried on with the days' proceedings, which involved seeing the sights of London. Cue a rampage of tiny teenagers dressed up like sailors running rampant around London.

When the instructors actually managed to reign us in, we marched smartly down a road, where we were promptly blocked in by a massive student protest against something, Pot Noodle prices, whatever. Above us was a helicopter for Sky News, catching the action live as it happened.

Eventually, I felt my stomach churning as it hit the point of no return. I quickly turned around and painted the pavement with a thin veneer of watermelon and coke, my throat burning with every heave. I immediately recomposed myself and acted as if nothing happened, unaware that I had projectile vomited in front of millions of viewers, and considering I was in ceremonial dress with the big white cap, it couldn't even be considered inconspicuous. I guess everyones fifteen minutes of fame cant always be glamorous!

Length? About two feet wide, and a rather putrid odour!

*POP* Fuck, it's all in my eyes!

Apologies for lack of funnies, you had to be there!
(chopper_harris is giving you a reach-around on, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 23:18, 2 replies)

I'm clicking for the immortal line
"Fuck it's all in my eyes!". Very novel.

oh and good story too.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 0:20, closed)

Thanks
I've been meaning to post lots of times, but I've never been able to tell it properly, so I just go without!
(chopper_harris is giving you a reach-around on, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 12:59, closed)