Weatherspoons gore
As fellow-sufferers will know, problems of the internal-plumbing-and-back-passage variety have a way of reducing inhibitions in every way imaginable, save erotically (where the area loses all possible appeal). Beyond the inappropriate restaurant conversations and revolting hypochondriac fact-swapping, you have achieved a point of acceptance where dropping your trousers, and proffering your rear to medical staff becomes as routine as a repeat prescription. 3 years on and multiple invasive procedures later, I suspect the NHS of playing some kind of cruel joke - I have had bits cut out, Botox injected (beautiful), rods rammed in, cameras filming, flashlights beamed, and, memorably, a water balloon inflated, all in the comfort of my rectum and lower intestine. And still no diagnosis.
After my first surgery, and being inexperienced, I was feeling so high on the drugs I went ahead to a previously booked weekend away with my other half to a seaside cottage. All was going well, I'd just eaten my first real meal in the local Weatherspoons and excused myself to go to the loo. No sooner had I started my meaningful business that I felt like I was having a chainsaw jammed up my backside and left there. The result, a horrifying splattering of fecal afterbirth in a pile of congealed blood and guts isn't what you go to your local Weatherspoon's for, to say the least. A&E and ye olde local NHS hospital curtly informed my weeping, bleeding, contorted and prostrate self that this is normal for this type of operation, and sent me home with a paracetamol. I spent the next week crying myself into a frenzy of pain and self-medicating over the counter.
(angina, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:02, 4 replies)

What a horrific experience
and so brave to post it for your first post. Welcome to the family!
(DEADLINK 's head is spinning like a child in a tumble dryer, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:31, closed)

Agreed!
* Clicks * I hate the way the NHS are so stingy with their analgesics btw. A paracetemol ffs!

Did they ever discover exactly what was wrong with your lower intestines? Are they utterly cured now?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 13:06, closed)

And no cure either!
Sadly. So the saga may yet fuel future QOTW!
(angina, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 20:25, closed)

as I said...
...I have no shame anymore. Thanks for the encouragement!
(angina, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 20:23, closed)