Ten little fingers, nine little toes and one massive one.
“Dinners ready” I jumped up, ran out of my bedroom, a vision of pie and mashed fixed in my head. Mmmm.

In my bedroom was an oil filled radiator. I caught the edge of my left foot under it, between the little toe and not so little toe and cut – ripped really between them. When I realised what had happened I was sat at the top of the stairs I was convinced I had cut my toe off. My mother is still shouting for me to come and collect my dinner. I’m holding my hot dripping foot in both hands, I’m hollering for her to come up the stairs as I can’t come down. Painful incident number 1.

What the bloody hell is wrong with you now? She is finally coming up the stairs; I have wrapped my foot in a towel by which point Mother appears shrieks at the sight of my blood smeared face and towel. No time to waste Mother unwraps towel, I’m shouting don’t touch it, don’t touch it.

My mother trained to be a nurse, for about 6 weeks, therefore well equipped she thought to deal with all medical emergencies. My toe had not been cut all the way through as I thought it was still connected by a flap of skin. My mother deemed this not worthy of a trip to A&E, dinner was ready and she would have to collect my father from the train station soon. So down to my mother’s operating theatre, the kitchen sink – sink full of dettol and salty water, then a bandage made from toilet paper, cotton wool and a tea towel. Painful incident number 2.

I had to wear one slipper to school. Painful incident number 3.

6 weeks later there I am on my way to a doctor’s appointment as my little toe is not so little anymore, in fact neither is my foot as it red and itchy. Painful incident number 4.

18 years later, all that is left of my 10 year old suppurating foot is a scar and little toe that doesn’t move a great deal. The right one is able to move a lot more than left one.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 13:29, 4 replies)

Tricky decision
the toss up between A&E or dinner. I had to do the same when my son got contorsion of the testicles (well, 1 of them). But when he went white and threw up I believed him and drove to the hospital.
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 13:51, closed)

I dont know what
Contorsion is but if you type it in to google there is loads of photos of bendy people. Did your boy have bendyitis? Is that when you are too bendy or not bendy enough?
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 13:57, closed)

Arf
I may have my medical terminology or my translation wrong - I only got to discuss it with the doc in french. It's when the tube attaching your nuts to your willy gets twisted, and your nut starts to die. If you wait too long you end up losing one ball. Luckily I was in time. But if I'd had that extra croissant...
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 15:27, closed)

She means 'torsion'

(Iggy Pop's Teeth, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 19:37, closed)