Minty Hit just reminded me...
...about a time when I was about 17 or so when someone tried to bribe me into some jimmynudgery too. A slightly mad Aunt on my Dad's side of the family, who'd had a bit of a windfall at the time, offered to buy me anything I wanted if I slept with her. I declined, on the following grounds:

* We're fucking related - not as if I need any more reasons than that one, but...
* She's at least 20 years my senior and a bit of a munter, bless her. Not to mention some distinct family resemblances. {shudders again}
* I was good mates with the guy she was married to at the time - a former Coalminer turned Bouncer - got me into loads of places for free with no ID-related questioning. She treated him like shit and he eventually fucked off down south with another one of my aunts - her sister, in fact. Can't really reproach him for that, since my Mum has been married to my Dad's brother-in-law for more than 20 years now.
* I had a girlfriend at the time (see www.b3ta.com/questions/pretentious/post40929/), though with hindsight that shouldn't have mattered much seeing as a) she was a tit and b) she eventually broke up with me on a nicey nicey 'lets be friends' stylee and I found out she was fucking a mate of mine a week later.
* My Dad would truly and seriously have ended my life if he ever got wind of it. And now I think about it, my Mum would have had my Aunt taken out of the game too - my Mum never liked her very much.
* Finally, I'm no-one's whore - full stop.

First time I've thought about that in years - it's no wonder I prefer blokes now :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 9:58, Reply)