In the musical 'Oklahoma!' there's a scene where a young man says to a girl 'Here's an Oklahoma hello!', grabs her and kisses her passionately.
When I was 14 my mate, my boyfriend and I had seen it and I jokingly told Mate that Boyf had given me just such an Oklahoma Hello.

I expected her to laugh me out of the place, being as I was still quite an innocent virgin, as indeed was the Boyf, and thought we'd have a good giggle together.

Unfortunately, she believed me. She mentioned it, scandalised, at every opportunity and couldn't wait to bump into the Boyf and pull his leg.

It soon went too far for me to admit I'd lied and I had to go along with the story. (I was only 14!)

I was sweating by weekend when I knew Mate'd see Boyf before I did. My family weren't on the phone and I had no way of contacting him to warn him, and anyway what could I say? 'Oh, by the way, I've told Mate that you Oklahoma Hello'd me last Sunday, just play along, there's a good chap!'

Weekend came, Boyf was challenged on his snogging technique and was mystified, Mate came back and derided me.

I tried to pretend Boyf was chivalrously defending my honour, but it didn't wash. My humiliation was complete.

The Boyf and I soon split up, probably because he thought I was a fantasising nutcase and I thought he was a wimp. More sadly, my friendship with the Mate didn't survive the incident, or rather the constant piss-taking I had to put up with afterwards.

30-odd years on, I still feel a strange mixture of embarrassment, regret and amusement, and I miss that friendship to this day.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 21:32, Reply)