I still struggle with my addiction; I think that's why they call it recovery.
The lying is a huge part of it; then you realize that you were not such a good liar and people knew all along.

You have admitted it to strangers. Now you need to pluck up the hope to at least join in a group. The first time I walked in the addiction recovery class I was certain everyone was looking at me and just waiting to tell everyone about it.

Now I go and I smile and feel among friends. Where before my days were dark and I wondered "why life" I have a safe place, if only for an hour a week. That's a least one hour I'm not indulging. Then you stretch it out.

Some days are better than others, but I have to force myself to look at how far I've come. Look at it as climbing a spiral staircase, rather than a ladder.

My heart bleeds for you. Hang in there.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 17:57, Reply)