I
went to school in Ireland for six months once. Catholic ex-convent school (lots of them around) and I can genuinely say that it was the smallest and thinnest I've ever felt in my entire life. I'm average weight and height, but compared to the six-footers that populated PE I was an anorexic, tiny fairylike little thing, who could be thrown around as lightly as a feather and with as little consequence.

The first sport of the year was rugby. I'd watched half a rugby game once, and that was my entire knowledge of the sport. I had no idea of the rules, the positions, or the general ethos of the game, beyond the vague knowledge that it was a homoerotic game played by large hairy men. Being (relatively) small/thin I was called upon to be the 'hooker' to my utter bewilderment. What was this strange sport that encouraged prostitution? I attempted to beg off by claiming I wasn't dressed for it (no fishnets) but was met with a stony glare. After a bit of running around, the PE teacher (who interestingly enough was also the useless IT teacher) picked me to demonstrate some tackle on.

Standing on a mat, I had no clue what was happening. So when the teacher dropped to her knees in front of me, and placed her cheek to my thigh I was understandably slightly curious, she then looked up (uncomfortably close) and proceeded to demonstrate her throw- which consisted of nearly lifting me up and throwing me onto my back. It was like lesbian judo, only my chances of a medal were pretty small. I stood up, wheezing like a small balloon and she gave me the nastiest smile I've ever seen, and proceeded to demonstrate the same throw (this time with a runup) three more times, until on the fourth, unable to take anymore I stepped backwards.

Not a wise move. She pretty much encouraged the entire class to pick on the English girl, and since it was a contact sport, literally anything went- broken glasses, bruising, mass pileups. All in the name of fun of course. I started fighting back when I realised it was going beyond a joke, and it got me grudging respect from everyone except her. I still wonder if she shoves her face in people's crotches without their consent.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 23:30, Reply)