The crowning sporting achievement of my school career
I went to an all-boys school that insisted on teaching Rugby instead of a proper sport during games lessons; because obviously what a group of hormonally-imbalanced teenage boys needs when robbed of the company of women is to play the most homoerotic sport imaginable. You'll be pleased to learn that mass buggery is not the achievement of the title, however.

I've always displayed an almost preternaturally bad degree of aptitude towards sport, unless you count dancing and shouting at the TV when the football's on. This was compounded, when playing Rugby, by my phenomenally poor eyesight (-6.5 in each eye) and the fact that I didn't get contact lenses until I lost my glasses in the moshpit at a Megadeth gig when I was 15. It didn't take long for the bastards I went to school with to work out that skipping past my attempts at a tackle were as easy as running quite fast and assuming that I'd throw myself at the blur where they'd been a moment ago. And obviously I didn't get passed to much.

So I was bloody amazed when the stupidly-shaped ball ended up in my hands after a mass collision, with voices I recognised as the group of wankers I was assigned to co-operate with that day exhorting me to "RUN, BLOODY RUN YOU BLIND TWAT", so I did. I RAN like there were FUCKING WOLVES with SEVERAL KINDS OF RABIES behind me.

The WRONG WAY

By the time I was tackled - by one of my lot, obviously - I was almost under our posts. Not that I would have noticed them if I'd managed to run right under them. I maintain Zemckis got half his ideas for Forrest Gump from watching me that day. I was not a popular boy in the showers, something I've struggled to maintain to this day.

Length? About 40 yards, apparently. Never again.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:00, 9 replies)

Quality!
Superbly written - and a great start to the day.

*click*
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:16, closed)

Clicky
- if only because I share much the same experience (and several other similar) and the same prescription.

It always baffled me when sports masters made me take off milk bottle bottom lenses to play a game which I obviously couldn't then see.
I was always good at boxing though. Got right in close for obvious reasons and thumped hell while I could see my opponant.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:56, closed)

You mean there's more than one of us?
I can honestly count on the fingers of one hand the number of people I've met with worse eyesight than me!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:07, closed)

Great.
A "Mr Magoo Meet" sponsored by B3TA. I think I've encountered you on the roads, haven't I, he he?
(Rsoles, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:08, closed)

to be more precise, and a little more honest,
-5.75 left, -6.0 right.
But as you know once you're past -5.0 you can't see the difference.
Until the darkness falls for ever.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 25 Nov 2009, 13:50, closed)

Yeah, and the laser correction procedure costs a fuckload more
And they say cripples have it tough
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 14:20, closed)

Excellent!
Highly entertaining. Deserves more than a click!

I can sympathise, being -5 in each eye too. Practicing Karate as a child, my glasses would go shooting off during free-fighting, and I'd be clambering on the floor like Velma while fending off my opponent.

It happened once while fighting "deaf and dumb Bob". I couldn't see where he was, and he couldn't hear that we'd been told to stop. More like a Richard Pryor film...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 14:12, closed)

That's wasted on a reply
Surely that has to be a future QOTW winner! Not wanting to mock the plight of a fellow Blindy, but put that scenario in the hands of Ben Stiller and Eddie Izzard and it should win an Oscar
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 14:19, closed)

Thanks
But it did seem to complement your story.
I'll have to suggest a QOTW to suit my kind of experiences!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 15:26, closed)