I joined the school male voice choir, as it meant that every month we got to meet girls doing the mirror, to "rehearse" for a ... concert, or something.
The day of the concert finally arrived six months later. It was a Sunday, and I'd spent the Saturday at a punk gig, getting drunk, doing speed, and over-enthusiastically headbanging in the way that speeding 16 year olds do.

Thus the next morning I was feeling quite rough, and not a little stiff in the lumbar and neck regions. Very bleeding stiff. Dear-Christ-I-hope-I-haven't-done-myself-any-serious-damage stiff.

The time for the concert came, and we all got dressed up and prepared.

Being 6' tall and a baritone, I was pretty well bang in the middle of the assembly, standing on a riser about 4' high.

The lights went down, the curtains drew back, and off we went.

Those lights are hot. Damned hot. When strapped into a tux, they're bloody boiling. When strapped into a tux, under theatre lights, having been headbanging on speed, they're a killer. A killer. A killer.

Dear Christ.

They're a killer.

I could hear the singing. My neck was hurting so badly. They were a killer.

My neck.

This is not good - they're a killer.

I had to get out I had to get out get out they're a killer I have to get out get out get out and so

in front of an absolutely packed theatre, I did what anyone in the same frame of mind would do:

I fainted, falling forwards, knocking everyone in front of me to spew out like so many skittles; tuxs, ballgowns, hair and shoes flying everywhere, as I loudly faceplanted onto the front of the stage.

Sadly, this was in the days before video cameras were so readily available, as from the stories I've been told, it was absolutely awesome.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:21, 1 reply)

I like this.
One particularly hot summer, one member of our college choir fainted in mid-rehearsal.
The following week, someone else puked and then fainted.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:05, closed)