Charlotte's Web
I once played Charlotte in a Secondary School production of Charlotte's Web.

It consisted of hiding behind the assembly lectern and saying my lines. But I wasn't there from the beginning, oh no. About 2 minutes before my earth-shattering performance, I stood up from my place at the front of the stage (sitting on the bench) and scurried along the front row of the bemused audience to duck down behind the, quite frankly very small and not at all concealing, lectern before proudly delivering my piece.

It was so fucking smooth.
(Nigella Pussycat picking baked-in hair from creme brulee, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 4:15, 1 reply)

Did you manage to portray a spider realistically though?
I would have thought it quite difficult. Additional, robotically-controlled limbs would obviously be a requirement, as well as a fully functioning silk-spinner attached to your arse and also a pair of fangs to drain all of the juices out of your unlucky victims with (I should think smaller children would suffice as ‘prey’ in such a situation).
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 10:13, closed)