Militantly Foul
When I was in middle school (6-8th grade, US) there was a kid in my gym class named Donald. He was a quiet kid who had dorky hair and a stench that followed him like a puppy that just came out of a week in a pool of raw sewage. As a result, he was particularly unpopular.

So one day after gym, I notice that he never showered with the rest of the class...which, me thinks, is contributing to his stench! I figure the way to help this kid out is to make sure he showers so that other kids won’t be so disgusted by his wretched stench!

So what do I do? I go tell Mr. B the gym teacher who liked me because he was National Guard (territorial army) and I was dead set on going to military college and serving my country as a Marine. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: Good afternoon Mr. B. I wanted to share something with you about one of my classmates, Donald.

Mr. B: Go ahead.

Me: Donald seems to avoid the showers like a cat with rabies and I believe it contributes to his rather malodorous olfactory emissions...

Before I finished the sentence, in true National Guard fashion, Mr. B was on his way down the row of lockers where Mr. Donald changed.

Feeling as though I had done my good deed for the day, I sauntered back to my locker to strip down for a quick shower before heading off to my next class....

As I turn the corner, I see Mr. B berating Donald for not showering and escorting him to the communal showers literally by his ear. And I knew in an instant WHY Donald was not showering with the rest of us...

I do not make a hobby of noticing the size of my fellow man's genitalia, but this kid was DEFINITELY at the end of the line when they were distributing them and failed to get much.

Ever since, whenever I smell someone bad, I automatically assume that they have a really small package.

Click "I like this" if you think that theory makes sense.

Cheers!
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 22 Mar 2007, 14:41, Reply)