Stinky
On a week long surf trip to Newquay (this was 10 years ago, when it was merely a shit place, rather than an unbearably shit place) a few of us were on the beach playing frisbee or some other pre-surf activity.

At this juncture we realised that from our discarded gear a foul stench was emanating.

The culprit of said stench was quickly found to be Ian's shoes. With great alacrity these were hurled away from us up the beach, landing about 15 metres away.

Soon it came to pass that some surfing was necessary, with Ian deciding to reclaim his shoes after the session.

I must add at this point that these shoes stank worse than the crotch of Satan himself on a particularly hot day, when he has been cycling round the hottest circle of Hell clad in 18 pairs of non-breathable lycra shorts. containing camembert.

Aprés surf, we returned to our spot on the beach; at this stage Ian decided that gathering his shoes for the imminent return to our hostel was in order.

But where were they? yes, dear reader, someone had stolen the most foul smelling pair of footwear that you can possibly imagine.

I shudder to think what could have happened to the poor (clearly olfactorily impaired) soul who took it upon themselves to take these shoes.

If anyone lives in Newquay and knows someone with no legs, I suspect that the cause may be that they were melted off by my friend Ian's shoes.

Apologies for length, but I've had the most boring day at work ever and needed something to kill some time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Mar 2007, 16:37, Reply)