Work colleagues....
Can smell pretty bad.

There's a guy at my office who is the reincarnation of Stig of the Dump (Google him people). He smells. His desk smells. His car smells. His house smells. It's not nice. He keeps a selection of pets in his house, including rabbits which roam around unimpeded shitting and sleeping where they please. Usually on him judging by his super-hairy jumpers and jeans.

Unfortunately, he sits next to the door to our office. So everyone coming in and out gets a waft. And because the office can be quite warm, he thoughtfully puts a fan on his desk in the summer so the smell can permeate further round the room. His car smelled so bad I was twice on the verge of being physically sick.

A less generous colleague than me stuck an air freshner on his desk one day - no reaction. Same colleague then put a 'Warning - Biohazard' sign under the windscreen wiper of Captain Stinky's car (okay, I admit I made the sign up for him). I would normally consider this behaviour quite obnoxious - but the smell counterbalances extreme tactics.

Complained to the boss about Captain Stinky, pointing out he always comes in wearing the same clothes. Boss does nothing.

EVENTUALLY work hand out nice corporate polo shirts for staff to wear, giving us a handful each. This is the boss at work, 'smartening up the staff' instead of telling Stinky to have a bath. Grinning and bearing the indignity of the 'would you like fries with that' effect of these tops most people start wearing them. Captain Stinky's are a size too small (and he ain't a Size 0), and on the occasions he wears them they get a few days continual wear. Except now there's no smelly jumper on top to partially deaden the directness of the stench. Great.

I need another job before this summer.
( MrCrisps Likes crisps but not Misters, Sun 25 Mar 2007, 22:53, Reply)