Chickpeas
We had both our cats castrated on our kitchen table. To be fair, it was a mate who was doing the snipping, not me, though it fair brought a tear to my eyes. It helped that he was actually a vet too.

Injection into the cat's front paw, cat drops like a sack of spuds. Vet starts frenetically tugging at the hairy nutsacks, slices with scalpel, pops the love spuds out (see title), hummus a little tricky for a while after that.

Slices them off, doesn't even do a left over right and under, right over left and under or even a granny knot, nor does he sew the sacks back up again, just a quick antibiotic and bobs ya flippin'.

This is the weird bit, the bit you don't see on Rolf or when you usually have your cats castrated. When cats come round from anaethesia, their brains wake up sequentially, one of the first signs of this is 'paddling' which is what it sounds like, all paws going hell for leather.
"Hold it down", he said, "It's starting to paddle!"
"Huh?"
"It's still asleep but its legs are waking up, hold it or it will be off!"
Yeah yeah..
10 seconds later, the cat was in the loft, two storeys up, banging its head against the furthest wall like an angry wasp. This lasted about 10 mins, the rest of the cat's brain then woke up and it stopped paddling, and spent the next three days licking where its bollocks weren't with a mournful expression.
(Countryslicker, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 13:25, Reply)