Well, you all remember Pokemon cards, I'm sure.
So picture this. I was a year 6 of quite some repute among the teachers, but all the other kids were unimpressed with my pathetic collection of 20 pokemon cards. I was about to nag my mum into buying me more, when it dawned upon me that they were shit and a fad anyway, and I didn't quite want them. However, I was sick of being offered people's doubles, and hearing boasts of their shinies and rarities. I just wanted them to go AWAY.

What we needed, I thought, was a scandal.

This boy in my class, who we'll call Zach, had a collection of over 300 cards - about £200 worth I'd say - and every playtime he'd take them out, eager to trade. I didn't like him much, and he didn't like me much, and he was always pestering me for cards I never had. But one lunchtime I spied he wasn't on his usual rounds and decided I had a lovely opportunity to cook up some trouble.

Now far from being a stupid eleven-year-old, I realised I needed a fall guy. I told a mate's brother I was starting my own Team Rocket, and our first heist would be Zach's collection. I likened him to the fictional boss Giovanni and he was really pumped by it. So I said to him, go in and get the cards, and you can be the boss. He said no, he wouldn't do it, he'd get caught. So I ended up getting them myself, and I came out and dumped the loot on him.

He didn't feel so clever the next day when Zach was like "OMF WHERE ARE MY CARDS" and he was in possession of the entire lot. I had taken the day off, thinking he'd obviously be blamed. But the little sod grassed me up. However, since we both blamed each other and constantly changed our stories the way eleven-year-olds do, we both got a week's detention and it wasn't taken any further.

The result? Put the frighteners on Zach, got to spend lunchtimes in the lovely warmth of the classroom (and, thanks to my reputation, hardly even got shouted at), and got pokemon cards entirely banned from my school.

Rather genius for an eleven year old, I think.

No apologies for length.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sun 8 May 2005, 22:47, Reply)