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This is a question What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

Groovypoodle writes, "My mate once told his girlfriend that he didn't think it was working only for her to laugh and tell him he was hilarious. Saying she was 'too weird' and 'slightly violent' and that he didn't like her was equally hilarious. Ripping off her wing mirror, throwing it through the windscreen
and storming off in a huff merely generated an apology from her a week later..."

Just how hard have you had to work to get someone to take the hint and stay dumped?

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33)
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Was evil beyond belief
I was going out with someone who I decided I hated, as he was a bit strange, so I slept with 3 of his friends in the hope that he'd find out (I told all our mutual friends I'd done it), but he didn't twig on. Gaaaah! All that sluttiness for nothing!
(SpongyMonkey is an honorary East Anglian on, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:46, 69 replies)
*flicks through his address book looking for
really cuntish friends who only have 2 other friends*
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:50, closed)
You do
not have two freinds?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:51, closed)
*sniffs, wipes his nose in one big sweep on his sleeve and
has a tear start to roll down his cheek*

Cunt
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:52, closed)
Oh...
Well, it's ok.
Because b3ta friends
Are worth double points.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:52, closed)
Ah,
so I only need to find one friend who has no other friends... No, that'd be 4... She'd only sleep with half of one of us and I don't want to risk that... :(
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:54, closed)
*offers hankies
and hugs to Belgaer*
(Moniker, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:54, closed)
Bottom half.
You and your numbers.
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:54, closed)
*blows nose on hanky
and hugs back

then starts humping her leg*
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:55, closed)
Oh dear...
He's at itagain.
Should have him spayed.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:56, closed)
That'd be worse...
'cause then there'd be no risk... It'd mean I can move up from the leg.
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:57, closed)
You two
are both as bad as each other, in your own delightful ways.

*looks for a bucket of cold water*
(Moniker, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:58, closed)
RIS?
Small words, having trouble tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 23:58, closed)
If I was spayed...
then I wouldn't have to worry about the worst STD of all; babies.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:00, closed)
Why get a bucket of cold water?
Just join in the fun. ;)

Not that I'm saying you're a turn off or anything.

Oh crap, stop digging Belgaer, stop digging! Step away from the shovel...
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:01, closed)
Oh...
I see
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:01, closed)
Do you now?
Does blurred vision count?
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:02, closed)
@ Belgaer
Does that mean you want me to hump your leg too?
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:03, closed)
Sometimes.
Not tonuight though.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:04, closed)
@ Kaol
But I wasn't offering to hump your leg....
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:06, closed)
Yes,
I would love for you to hump my leg.

Though, women aren't as good at it as men, they can't quite get the thrusting right.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:06, closed)
Do you
often have men humping your leg then? And women too for that matter?!
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:09, closed)
No...
Well, it was once.

Im sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:09, closed)
I run a club...
"Leg Humpers Anonymous"
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:10, closed)
First rule
of LHA is
Don't talk about LHA
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:11, closed)
No it's not...
First rule is "Always wipe up the puddle afterwards and offer to clean the recipitent's leg."

Second rule is don't talk about LHA.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:12, closed)
@Kaol
Why are you sorry?

@Belgaer
Shhhhhhh.....!!!
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:12, closed)
@ Moniker
HELLO! I'M BRIAN BLESSED!

That's my Brian Blessed impression by the way... Could you tell?
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:13, closed)
There was some seepage
Or so I heard.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:14, closed)
@ Belgaer
Of course! It was a very good impression, you clearly practise it.
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:15, closed)
Did you remember to offer cleanup services?
As a member of LHA, you are obliged to...
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:15, closed)
Indeed,
daily, I make sure I get the caps lock just right, it's all about the finger work. ;)
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:16, closed)
Yeah.
*whips out mop*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:16, closed)
Silly silly Kaol,
you don't use mops...

You gotsa use Kleenex

Edit: Oh, was that a euphamism?
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:17, closed)
Depends on how much
There is.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:18, closed)
Nah,
Kleenex have extra pockets so that they absorb more...

Or is that bounty? I can imagine bounty being a bit painful for cleanup usages.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:18, closed)
Especially
if it came with those scary women/men from the advert! Ick.
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:20, closed)
I try not to syncronise
my orgasms with transvestites...

Ohhh... Sorry, only just gotten what you meant.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:21, closed)
Well...
It measures approximately the size and length of a man, and weighs around 1,000kg (2,200lb).
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:23, closed)
I'd rather you didn't
discuss my penis with random people, Sir.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:24, closed)
Your penis
Is the Nazi Bomb?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:25, closed)
Oh... You were talkin' about that?
Hmm, what a coincidence...
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:25, closed)
*click for replies*
Chortle
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:37, closed)
That's not very nice, PJM...
You saying our author isn't a very good one? I think she deserves a click all for herself.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:38, closed)
I wouldn't click
For the replies, they're a bit rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:42, closed)
Lies,
they're lufferly and fluffy.

And full of leg humping, can't get better'n leg humping.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:44, closed)
I'm out all night
and when I get home, I find my favourite B3tards yabbering away...why aren't you in bed somewhere?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:51, closed)
'cause... There's a chat...
About leg humping...

What better a reason for me (and possibly some others) to stay up all night?
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:53, closed)
Indeed
And having someone hump your leg does tend to keep you awake!
(Moniker, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:54, closed)
Ah, I can do much worse to keep you awake...
Like sexing you in the ear.

*Glances at Ancrenne, should she be about*
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:55, closed)
Humper
or Humpee? Which is more fun?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:55, closed)
For me, definitely the humper,
the cleanup duties aren't pleasent but they're more than worth it.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:56, closed)
Ancrenne is about... But I'm keeping her busy...
:p

Anyway, I'm awake because I can't sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:58, closed)
Brilliant
What an image to take to bed with me.

*quivers*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:58, closed)
How long
without sleep?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 0:59, closed)
If I don't sleep tonight
Then 4 nights.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:01, closed)
redbull? vodka?
Four nights it is, then.
Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:02, closed)
kaol and i
have been into the real world, but it's much nicer here. Belgaer has been humping legs.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:07, closed)
Are you sure the burning
wasn't the produce of my rampant sexing?

@ Clendrix
Ofcourse it is, leg humping is my favourists hobby.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:08, closed)
Stop complaining,
you all love it, you love it long time.
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:10, closed)
Also,
you can't say you weren't expecting it, I mean, this is me we're talking about after all...
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:10, closed)
*goes to look up what Bromide is*
Edit: *Has found out*

Aww, how nice of you... Helping Kaol get through his sleepless nights like that....
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:12, closed)
If you can leg-hump
and sex-ear at the same time, that's quite impressive.

@ancrenne - yes, but i suppose we like him that way
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:12, closed)
an excessive amount of
redbull is what he's on tonight. nothing can save him.

or us.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:16, closed)
Well, it basically envolves me standing on my head... Right...
Sort of like a really really weird 69... Well, more like an 18 actually, and then holding the lower leg whilst humping the ear. Only works well on short people. :(
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:17, closed)
But she said bulk...
That's like... Oh crap, gonna have to get my fingers out again... *counts* that's many-many-lots!

Edit: for those of you wondering, out of Ancrenne's ear. Cleanup duties apply no matter how the sexing took place. :(
(Belgaer is, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 1:18, closed)

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