Military college...again...sorry
I sound like a one-trick pony on here:

I lived on Third Division of First Battalion at The Citadel. That’s the third floor. My girlfriend had called, actually ASKING me to come to her house to participate in some 'clothes-free bed frolicking.' How do you say no to that?

Taps and "All-In" (making sure you are in your room for lock-down, I know, it sounds like prison.) is called at 10:30pm on a weeknight and because of a previous ‘miscommunication,’ I was not allowed any Charleston Passes because I was supposed to be serving 'confinements'. So I decide: dropping three stories from my window to a gravel and grass area, then evading the five guard posts is probably a good idea.

I put on my PT (physical training) gear (shorts, a t-shirt and running shoes) and hang from the window ledge. Then I drop to the ground and I heard this Interesting snapping noise. Hmmm...

Limp away to skitter up a 10ft high wall with the aid of a pine tree and then to meet my girlfriend, who is waiting in her car to whisk me away to certain nirvana. At this point, my Polo cologne is now overwhelmed by my smelling like a blind Christmas Tree merchant in a pine board factory.

We get there and her roomates are home. No worries. I will do the 'nice guy' thing and not be too obvious that I am merely there for a shag. As I sit there, chatting with her friends on her sofa, I notice that my ankle is swelling pretty significantly. Royal Purple was the coloration. Frightening. If you've ever seen an eggplant, that is kind of what my ankle looked like.

So I finally get her and I worked towards the bedroom and after lying down, my girlfriend says, I swear she said these EXACT words: "Can we just cuddle here for a while? Then I will take you back to school."

I violated curfew - dismissible offense. I broke free of the battalion - dismissible offense. I SERIOUSLY sprained my ankle (at first, they thought it was broken). I violated my 'confinements' by leaving campus - dismissible offense. I went to the infirmary after returning to campus and reported that I had 'twisted my ankle on a curb while running' - honor code violation, again, dismissible offense. All for a snuggle.

What a sad bastard I was in college.

Length, girth? The ankle swelled to twice + its size and the length of the visit was maybe 3 hours of snuggling.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 17:51, Reply)