So you're allowed to swear at us, then?
Going home from a midweek Manchester 1990s Indie club night, four of us in the car, me in the back with my girlfriend. Us three passengers had been drinking, not excessively, but S the driver hadn't touched a drop.

S did manage to get in the wrong lane on a (deserted) roundabout, turned off anyway, only to see a police van going in the opposite direction. Of course, it drove all the way around, caught us and pulled us over. S winds his window down, Mr Policeman leans out of his passenger-side window, glares disapprovingly at us long-haired types, and barks;

"YOU'RE DRIVING LIKE AN ARSE!!!"

This is instantly the funniest thing I've ever heard, and panic sets in as GF and I catch each other's eyes and realise we are thinking the same thing. We're about to get a potentially disastrous case of the giggles. I turn and stare down in to the footwell, concentrating on not getting thrown in the back of a police van for laughing at a policeman. S, contrite and cool as you like, calmly talks his way out of the situation, no sir, I haven't had a drink, I just got lost for a second etc. Eventually, the "can I go now" bollocking ends, they speed off to do more good, and three of us burst out laughing. S just sits there smiling at us all, eventually saying "Well, that's a relief".

"You've really not had a drink though, have you?" front passenger friend asks.

"No, no, I never drink and drive", he replied. "I am tripping, though".
( The Vomiting Hitchhiker Mephistopheles is such a mouthful in Manhattan, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:47, 2 replies)

Sounds about right
*Clicks*
(d347hm4n Fraggin your ass!, Mon 9 May 2011, 16:45, closed)

What a cunt.
More of a cunt than if he'd got pissed and driven. Let's hope he only kills himself if he does it again, and not some poor bastard using a roundabout correctly.
(Rsoles, Mon 9 May 2011, 20:23, closed)