Most of my nephews are still young enough for me to have absolute power over, and I enjoy lying to them for my own amusement.
I am the cool uncle, and they know that if I tell them to do something, it will be fun and cool.

So - last year, at our annual camping expedition in the heart of Wales, my sister is sitting with the 6yo, and she's boasting about how good he is with food.

"You like your salad, don't you, H?" she said, and he nodded. "And you like your tomatoes, don't you? And celery?" he nodded conformatively.

"It's your birthday soon, isn't it H?" I asked, and he nodded again excitedly. "Well - you do know that on your birthday, you're allowed to do anything you want, and you can't get in trouble for it?" I said, and he shook his head. "It's the law" I said, "You can play anything you like, do anything you like, and eat anything you like, and mum and dad HAVE to let you do it."

He was quite pleased to learn this.

"So" I continued, "On your birthday this year, why don't you ask for pancakes for breakfast, lunch and tea?" I suggested.

There was a collective intake of breath from all the adults around, as the lightbulb popped into life in his head.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 9:13, 2 replies)

Absolute power over their parents, methinks
Absolute cunt.



Love it :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 13:31, closed)

Well, yes - you're right.
I don't so much see my nephews as individuals, new to the world and exploring it in their own unique way, so much as weapons with which to annoy my sisters.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 13:37, closed)