Retribution, RN style
I heard this story years ago, God knows if it's true...

~~~~~~~ wavy lines transporting us back to the late 1940s ~~~~~~~

HMS Belfast after the end of the war was stationed out in the Far East, as part of the Royal Navy's Oriental presence. It was a horrible time for the crew - this still being the time of hammocks slung up below decks and no air-conditioning. (Temperatures below decks would regularly be over 100 degrees F in the tropical heat). So, when the ship pulled into Hong Kong for a resupply and some R & R, it was a welcome respite for the entire crew - a real opportunity to let off some steam.

The last night before sailing a small group of the officers were out in the city for a quiet drink and a meal, making the most of their last few hours of freedom before an early evening sailing the next day. They're on their first and last beer, taking it slowly as they realise this'll be the last one for a few months when they hear,

"Are you f***ing limeys? I hate f***ing limeys. Limeys are all fags."

There's an American gentleman standing at the bar who starts to pour out a torrent of abuse at them. They're doing their best to ignore it, but the Yank is having none of it and continues to hurl abuse at them. Then he approaches their table, sits down and proceeds to tell them how and why they were the scum of the earth. They politely tell him they aren't interested and could he leave them alone.

"Leave you alone? Hey, if it wasn't for us you'd be two down on world wars by now. You assholes can't even fight."

This, of course, to some officers who have been stationed aboard the Belfast for a good few years and have experienced the horrors of war in the Atlantic, the Russian convoys and the Far East. Suddenly, it had started to get very personal, and knowing that if they got caught in a brawl they'd be in a lot of trouble, one of them thought of a different approach to the problem.

"Well I bet we could drink your fat Yank arse under the table."

Reg rag to a bull. His face went crimson with rage at the suggestion that a Brit could beat him at anything. Problem was that the Navy officers didn't want to get drunk, it being the day before a sailing. So they started drinking water instead of spirits, and made sure that he became increasingly lubricated. Eventually, he passed out in a stupor incapable of speech or movement. You would have thought the Godawful hangover and the fact that he'd pissed himself would be revenge enough, but when someone has insulted the memory of your dead friends you'd probably be in a slightly less forgiving mood.

They took him to a tattoo parlour instead.

From here on in, I can only speculate as to his side of the story. The navy boys delivered him back to his hotel and headed back to the ship. Sober.

Although, I would have loved to have seen his face the next morning though as he stood in front of the mirror. With an enormous Union Jack permanently etched across his chest.
(sugar_tits, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 10:23, 1 reply)

One of the best revenge stories ever!
Now that was amazing revenge! I would have paid good money to see his reaction, buy unfortunately YouTube didn't exist, oh how I wish it had of!
(mpaz52, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 10:55, closed)