Ticket to ride.....
I ordered something from a website (I can't remember where) and it turned up the next day. Unfortunately, I was out and the City Link driver left, leaving his card. I got home, found the card. My first thought was "Oh, screw it! I can't be bothered to pick it up myself. I'll call them and they can deliver it to my work address.", then, a little voice popped into my head. "Stiggy? Stiggy! Just how flipping lazy are you going to be? You fat, lazy spud! Pick up the card & your keys and go and get the parcel!". So, I printed off a some of instructions on how to get there and set off.

I drove out of my road and jumped straight on the motorway.....and straight into the rush hour traffic. Yes, I forgot what the time was and was now stuck in traffic. The real sod of it was by the time I could find the exit to get off, I was 75% of the way there! So, I listened to some classical music on the radio and relaxed. By the time I reached the exit, it had gotten dark. Reading a set of instructions, in the dark and whilst driving is phenomenally dangerous as I found out, by taking a wrong turn and ending up off-roading in a farmer's field in a Toyota Yaris. Toyota Yarises are great cars, but, believe it or not, they're not good at off roading! After that mishap, I got lost on an industrial estate, asking loads of burly men where the City Link depot is. They were wondering why a short man in a Toyota Yaris was cruising a desolate industrial estate at 7:30 in the evening (Yes, I'd taken 3 hours to do a 30 minute trip!). Eventually, I found the depot, parked up and went in. I presented my card and waiting for my parcel. In fact, I waited quite a bit of time, 20 minutes to be precise! Eventually, when the man/woman (to this day, I'm still not sure what it was) came back she said "Yes, here's your parcel, do you have any ID?".

Can you guess what the next problem was, children?

Yes, in my haste in leaving the house, I grabbed my keys and phone, but left my wallet at home! "Well, without ID, I can't give you the parcel.". So, it was a completely wasted journey! I'd stayed in traffic for an hour, went off roading, "cruised" an empty industrial estate at night and encountered a lady boy, all for approximately naff all! So, I arranged another delivery and made sure I was home for it.

The twist in this tale is the parcel itself. Can you guess what I ordered?

Yep! I'd ordered a brand new, top of the range, Tomtom sat-nav!

Moral of story: Sometimes, procrastination can actually save you time! I'm such a tool.....

Length? Well, it lasted a lot longer than it should have......
(The Stig, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 19:53, Reply)