northern gas and electric
i had to put up with these fuckers in my last flat. had a knock on the door, opened it to see johnny pinstripe stnding there with a shit-eating grin and a clipboard. "hi, i'm from northern gas and electric..."
"no thanks, i'm perfectly happy with my current supplier."
"but if i could just..."
"no. thank you, but no."
"but we're cheaper than manweb!"
"i'm not with manweb."
"oh, well, we're cheaper than whoever you are with."
"goodbye."
4 days later, i got a letter from my supplier, saying how sorry they were that i'd decided to leave them. i phoned them immediately, only to be told that i'd signed up for northern gas and electric. i told them i'd signed nothing and didn't want to leave, as i was happy with my service. they sorted everything out for me.

fast forward 6 weeks and i get another knock on the door. "hello, i'm representing northern gas and electric..."
"i'm not interested, please go away."
"but if i could just..."
"no, you couldn't, go away."
he was still trying to talk to me through the door after i'd closed it.
4 days later, guess what? yes, another letter from my supplier, saying that i'd signed up to northern gas and electric. this time, however, they'd been sent a contract with what was supposed to be my signiature on it. again, i told them i'd signed nothing and didn't want to switch suppliers. "i'm not surprised," says the phone monkey, "we've had at least 500 people telling us they've signed nothing, those door-to-door people work on commission." once again, all was sorted. however, i felt the need to phone northern gas and electric to tell them that, even if i had wanted to switch to them, faking my signiature on a contract was fraudulent and i would now never switch to them, even if they offered me free gas and electricity.

6 weeks later, another of the buggers arrived at my doorstep. "hi, i'm from northern gs and electric."
"northern gas and electric, you say? yes, i'll sign up, just pass me that pen."
i sent him merrily on his way, with a contract signed by mrs. A. Hitler.
another phonecall to their office, this time threatening legal action if my name was placed on their forms by anyone but me. it's been 4 years now, i've not seen another one of those fuckers on my doorstep.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:30, 4 replies)

I was lucky.
when the cunt turned up to try and sell it to me I had a chainsaw in my hand and my friend had an axe. I've never been talked to so politely by a door-to-door scum before.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:34, closed)

i'd have loved to see that

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 27 May 2010, 19:25, closed)

Talk-fucking-talk
Exact same story with these cnuts.

BT charged me 60 quid cancellation fee, and then talk-wank charged me something like 20 quid for rental for the 25 minutes I was with them.

I had a letter turn up on the 20th May informing me that I had until the 20th of May to change my mind!!!??? I'd made my mind up already, by not signing up with the scum.

I was moving house a fortnight later, so why would I have signed up for a new phone provider?

What a country.
(dchurch bah, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:28, closed)

bastards, the lot of them

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:13, closed)