My mate
got done for speeding the other day. He was rushing home from work and drove over a hump backed bridge too fast. There was a copper the other side of the bridge with a speed gun and he was stopped. They did the usual bollox about why he was going so fast and so on and he got a ticket. He gave his name and address, fine, but when asked his occupation he said he was an arsehole stretcher.

"Forgive my ignorance sir" says the copper, "but what exactly does an arsehole stretcher do?"

"Well" says my mate, "it's simple see. You get an arsehole and you begin to stretch it. You start by working a finger into it, then a couple more. Working them gently you can eventually get your fist into it. The you need to slide your other hand in next to it and make a fist with that one too. Keep working it, gently pulling them apart until you can get one of your feet in there too. You keep working it and stretching it, working and stretching, working and stretching until finally you have a 6ft arsehole".

"A 6ft arsehole!" exclaimed the officer, "and what exactly do you do with a 6ft arsehole?"

"Stand it the other side of that bridge and give it a speed gun..."
(robbersdog, Sun 30 May 2010, 8:36, 1 reply)

This has been funny
for fifty years that I know of . . .
(The Jannie, Mon 31 May 2010, 11:30, closed)