Not me, but...
This goes out to my long-term associate Jason, the first of our group to pop his cherry with a pretty satisfying lass and go on to keep that relationship going.

You see, after being together a few years, most relationships from what I've heard of enter this phase of sexual decline (except mine, thank Christ, and that's only because I've got the pelvic thrusting prowess of a jackhammer). Jason and his missus were soon feeling the pinch and running out of things to do. With the large array of nearby country roads, they decide to cut their losses and go for making the beast with 2 backs, 4 legs, a penis and a vagina out of the public eye.

Or so they thought.

Physics aside, his Nissan Micra was soon bouncing happily, and after stopping to fix the suspension they got down to having sex with all the fumbly grace of the lass doing the sign language for the BBC while wrestling a giant strawberry jelly (sorry, fantasy of mine). Windows are down to prevent the steaming up, and all is going well.

Until Jason feels a pinch on his arse.

Then a prod.

Followed closely by a rectal examination from a well-lubricated finger.

After returning from his leap into the air, Jason and his missus turn to see the perplexed face of Jason's older brother, cock in hand, as his visage slowly resembles one of horror

'What the fuck are you doing here?' asked the brother

'Shagging the missus, you sick shit! What the fuck are you doing here?' asked Jason

'Dogging....er...can you give me a lift back?'

There's not one pub outing I've been on with those guys where I haven't had the urge to bring that story up.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Thu 23 Apr 2009, 19:46, 2 replies)

Yikes...

that's all I can say.

*Clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 18:23, closed)

What he said^
Mortifying stuff
( chart cat has an itch, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 6:59, closed)