Open-Air Fail
Despite several previous open-air rendezvous with a very sexy, pretty lady friend that included a degree of under the clothes caressing, I still completely failed to register that she had a thing for alfresco sex. The fact that she was up for sex with me was also a sign that I completely failed to pick up on.
Another meeting was arranged at a local beauty spot in the forest which had a special significance to her; A much-loved pet's ashes were scattered there. Okay, I think to myself, sexy tiem probably not on the cards here, respectful, caring, supportive hat on to visit peaceful resting place of late pet. Still its a nice day so I'll take the motorbike and that way I'll be sure of at least one good ride. On with boots, leather trousers, leather jacket and all the other sensible protective gear.
So we met up, parked up, and strolled to the spot amongst the trees by the pond, with the sunlight streaming through the leaves. Guessing that she may be feeling a bit sad thinking of the lost pet I put a comforting arm around her and expounded on what a beautiful location it was. (Smooth, ain't I?)
My cunning ploy worked and passionate snogging ensues, quickly followed by unbuttoning her top inviting more intimate caresses.

Now, leather trousers on a motorbike are entirely sensible and reasonable. 60 mph airflow keeps everything cool and comfortable. If you are not doing 60mph and are in fact in an intimate embrace with a sexy lady in direct sunlight heavy leather trousers get you very hot and sweaty. Its at this point I realise that there is no chance of removing these trousers with dignity or indeed, at all with my hot swollen sweaty thighs and even if you did it wouldn't be very pleasant.

If my self-imposed chastity trousers aren't frustrating enough some other people show up walking through the woods and now I feel it would be the gentlemanly thing to do to cover my would-be lovers' nakedness by wrapping her in my arms and keeping my back to the newcomers. My hands now firmly on her back, sexy eye contact lost and painfully throbbing in my impenetrable crash-proof trousers the moment is lost for me and I mentally stamp my foot and cry "Its not fair!"
I discretely button up her top, still shielding her from the unwelcome visitors, and head back to the car park but at least I sensed a degree of disappointment in her.

At least I think I did. If I could reliably sense these things I wouldn't have taken the motorbike, I would have driven a car with a picnic blanket, and some strawberries to share. and come to think of it, she didn't seem as disturbed by the presence of the other forest visitors I imagined she was. Bah!
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:46, Reply)