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This is a question Public Sex

Train carriages, car parks, behind the altar at midnight mass. Where have you done the dirty?

Thanks to SpankyHanky, Chart Cat and others for the suggestion

(, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:58)
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The principle

It had been a long and enjoyable night. There was a group of around 8 of us drinking and getting stoned in our mate Briggsy's bedroom. Briggsy's mother was the coolest, happy to allow us to abuse ourselves in ways various in the comfort of his bedroom when most teenagers were forced to endure the elements when they wished to poison their bodies.

Not only that but she'd happily down a few bottles of wine with us at parties and supply endless amounts of toast and tea whenever we were afflicted with "the munch". All in all the perfect host.

Anyway, to cease making a short story long, we had spent the night chucking loads of beer down our necks and passing a goodly number of spliffs around whilst singing our hearts out to the delightful strains of Lagwagon, Me First & the Gimme Gimme's and the like.

As the booze ran out everyone found themselves a clear bit of floor space and one by one slipped from consciousness.

Pleasantly piddled I smoked a final spliff before laying down next to my girlfriend and drifting away, only to be awoken a short while later by some furtive noises.

Focusing my intoxicated and sleep baffled eyes I quickly realised that Ron and his young lady were lying but a scant few inches from my head and Ron was gently feeding his pork intruder into her dirtbox whilst she whispered words of encouragement.

As their unholy union was consummated, and with the musty scent of pierced rectum filling my nostrils, I slurred "It's the principle of the thing!" before lapsing back into the refuge of sleep.

Still didn't stop the buggers from finishing off though.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:17, 4 replies)
I love how you wite...

I can imagine you sat in a gentleman's club by a large open fire, with a waistcoat, smoking jacket, glass of fine malt and a pipe, regaling the grey moustachioed war heroes with tales of bumfoolery and stoneytwattedness.

Please accept this click,as I rarely travel these parts on a Saturday.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:54, closed)
Many thanks old chap...
... your clicks are indeed appreciated.

Especially as you were one of the fellows whose writing first grabbed me by the balls and dragged me helplessly into the grubby torrent of B3TA.
(, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 16:55, closed)
I second pooflake
This is gold, fried gold.
(, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 8:08, closed)
Having read your 'special treat'...
...I came looking for a second helping.

It didn't disappoint. Have a *click* for "musty scent of pierced rectum".
(, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 16:05, closed)

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