Get your dictionary out
This is how I told the board of directors exactly when and where I would be having a shag.

Some years ago I worked for a company with a subsidiary in France. Around the same time I was buying a house (when that was still a popular thing to do). I was in a video conference with the board of directors of the French subsidiary, waiting for someone from our side to join. To pass the time we were chatting - in french - about my imminent house purchase.

"So what happens next?" asked the MD, interested in the British house-buying process. "On va passer à l'acte mardi prochain," I said, using a handy phrase I'd picked up while working in France for a year. "My wife and I - ma femme et moi, on va passer à l'acte mardi à 1400".

There was a moment's stunned silence from frogs on the video conference, then they started to laugh. I had inadvertently told them that my wife and I would be having it off next tuesday at 2pm.

"Passer à l'acte" means to have a shag. "Passer l'acte" means to exchange contracts in a housing transaction. Whoops.
(Smale is stuffed, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 13:58, Reply)