A few that I can think of
I've managed a few in weird places, mostly thanks to the Armys habit of sending me all over. Ignoring the wank in the guard box byt he Rhine Centre in Düsseldorf at 03:00 on morning, and several tugs in a sleeping bag in the guard room on duty, I've managed to get some weird shags.

One night in Düsseldorf, the powers that be made the mistake of not only putting me and my missus on guard together, but they sent us out on patrol together, so we had a quick one somewhere between the Orificers Mess and the civvy transport group hangars.

Top deck of a South Yorkshire Transport double decker was a good one. We were the only ones on the bus, and I reckon the driver was waching through his periscope, that trip took *ages*.

On a metro train between Leeds and Bradford was uncomfy, but not as bad as the launderette on some Scout camp in the Lakes, or the Crew rest room at a Scouts Watersports centre. And no, the only watersports involved canoes and dinghys.

Round the back of my old primary school classroom would have to be the perviest, even though we waited until all the kids had gone home.

Coldest would have to be on the bonnet of my old 2CV in a car park in Reading, most visible in the grounds of a psychiatric hospital I used to work at, with what seemed like half the patients walking past, but most company would have been the top of a hill overlooking Goring on Thames. All the other cars parked up should have been a bit of a giveaway, but we cracked on anyway.

Coming up in a few days, we have a planned shag on a nudist beach when we both have time off midweek. Daytime of course - it's already been done at night with the nocturnal audience.

Warmest would have been within a couple of hours of getting back in from a patrol during the first Gulf War round the back of the storage hangars at King Khaled Military City (AKA "Emerald City")

Then getting caught on the vinegar strokes by the Provosts round the back of the cookhouse at Bloodhound Camp in Cyprus - we finished that one off just outside the Kyrinia Beach Bar the following night, and we weren't the only ones active that night, the whole beach seemed to be vibrating.

But my most memorable one has to be in the back of a moving ambulance on Salisbury plain just going past stonehenge, that one brought new meaning to "Sergeants Mess".

I've just read that back to myself. I'm a fucking perv!!

Length? You get a bit more if you stick your finger up my teatowel holder.

Edit - I just remembered another. On a sleeper train to Madrid giving the missus one from behind and watching the countryside pass by. If we'd checked the timetable we would have been prepared for the platform full of people getting an eyefull as we stopped in, I think, Lleida.

Another Edit. The Jacuzzi in what is now the Dortmund CenterParc, dunno how I forgot that one. It was closing time, we were the last ones there, and one of the Pool Meisters came round and asked me if would mind swimming through the tunnel to close the gate to the outside, and not - as I was expecting - if I would mind taking my cock out of my missus.

Yet Another Edit. How could I forget these? In the water about 20 foot from the beach in Ibiza with pedalos going past, and the following day on the rocks looking out over the sea and waving back to the boat full of cheering chavs merrily sailing past.
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 20:02, Reply)