Touchdown
During the summer of 2007, myself and a few friends spent the better part of 3 months travelling around the west coast of America. We spent 5 weeks in Berkeley, California before embarking on a road trip which encompassed Santa Cruz, Yosemite National Park, Boade Ghost Town, Las Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles and Santa Monica before spending 2 weeks in Hawaii. Unfortunately then I had to return to the Emerald Isle to begin work but the lads continued from Hawaii to New York to finish the trip.

Anyway I digress. The story in question happened in Berkeley. We had only arrived about two weeks and were in a bar one night. I spied a cute little redhead at the bar so began drunkenly sleazing on her. My utterly resistable charms seemed to work on her as later that night myself, two friends, new ladyfriend (for the sake of anonymity we'll call her S) and one of her friends went to a frat party together. Im in the back garden chatting away when the lads came over..."Lads will you ever piss off, cant you see I'm trying to get laid here" was S's response. I knew I was onto a sure fire thing. Anyway fast forward a week or so and we'd been at it every opportunity we had gotten. One night, a group of us snuck into the college football stadium for a few late night beers. After a while we started playing "I never" and it came round to my turn. So I promptly dclared "I've never had sex in a football stadium". Of course no-one drank, except me. "Really?" enquired S. "No", I replied, but you know..." as I glanced onto the pitch. She smiled her dirty little smile and I knew I was in there like swimwear.

As we're all getting up to leave, S pulls back on my hand and declares "Eh, we'll catch up with you guys in a bit, we're just...eh...going to...have sex on the pitch. Bye". And off we skipped. And we did. On the goal line. Of a 72,000 seater football stadium. Im also pretty sure that during the act I caught the unmistakable flash of a camera going off but did I care? Did I fuck.

On a side note we also made the beast with two backs that night in the lift of our apartment complex, in the disabled shower of our apartment complex and on the roof of our apartment complex. I had brought my A-game. The title of this story (yes I know its obvious) comes from the next morning when the lads asked if I had done it, and my response was to roar out "TOUCHDOWN!"


As a little after story, completely unrelated, I once pulled a fat bird in a club in Ireland, with the intention of a quick ride down a lane. When it came apparent that was not going to happen, I stated thinking of an escape plan. I lit a smoke to help me think when she asked me for a smoke. I declined and she replied "Please, I'll give you a blow job for a smoke". I thought she was being funny so gave her one for effort. Instead, she drops the smoke on the ground, unzips my pants and goes at it. At the time we were sitting on a bench at the side of the busiest road in Drogheda. So there I was, cigarette in one hand, other hand on her head while people were driving by beeping horns and people were walking by cheering me. I felt like a God. Once the act was over I did the honourable thing, stood up and ran like the dickens. She was a fat bird so couldnt catch up with me. Result.

Length? The whole 9 yards.
(BigFatPaulie, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 10:13, 2 replies)

haha nice
we don't all have fat bird stories you know.. *coughs* runs away.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 28 Apr 2009, 10:39, closed)

Fantastic last line
Bravo *click*
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 11:05, closed)