Trans-Siberian dinner-ladies
When me and a friend were doing the Trans-Mongolian journey a couple of years ago, the longest leg of the journey was a four-day train journey from Moscow to Irkutsk. The train journey itself was OK – the scenery was utterly boring but we met many interesting people in the train whom we shared many vodkas and Baltika beers with.

The problem however was obtaining food from the dining car. For a start, the opening hours were pretty random. Russian trains have the annoying habit of always using Moscow-Time no matter how many time zones the current location is ahead of Moscow (Irkutsk is five hours ahead). Yet the dining-car seems to be immune to this temporal anomaly and can close down without any warning whatsoever. And then, there’s the dinner ladies…

For a start, none of them could speak English, so communication was patchy at best. There was one particularly unpleasant one who we’ll call ‘Satan’ – for that was the name we gave her. She had no social grace whatsoever and had the habit of barking the one word of English she knew whenever we spoke to her – “SIT!” She had an assistant who had no fear whatsoever. At one time, I saw the assistant chase out an army guy for reasons I still don’t know. Seeing an angry dinner-lady chase out a chap in full army-uniform is one of nature’s wonders! Not once did either of the dinner ladies smile.

The language-barrier just made things worse. Ordering food was sort of like a lucky dip. We never knew what we had ordered until it was ready. My friend managed to somehow order three full meals for himself.

There was however a third dinner-lady. She was actually nice but seemed permanently drunk. One of the things she did for us was to open up the dining car when all the other staff-members had gone to sleep, put on some music and turn it into a party-zone.

Length? 5153km
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 May 2008, 16:23, 6 replies)

She was still there
two months ago. As was the obese Russian 'chef' with green tattoos on his face, who seemed to be permanently roaring drunk and tried to grope said Baltic baggage every time she wandered within range.
Horrendous.
(jennymnemonic, Fri 30 May 2008, 16:41, closed)

^ ^
Was your train the Moscow to Chita train by any chance?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 May 2008, 16:47, closed)

I have clicked this cos it's a sweet story
But I have to question what the problem is with a russian woman only speaking russian?

If you're bright enough to get yourself across the world in this way, surely you should be bright enough to buy a phrase book?
(Jugular, Fri 30 May 2008, 16:49, closed)

We bucked what seems to be the trend
and went UB - Moscow instead of the other way round. But yes, it was the same train. With the over-ornate Chinese dining car, and the gulag-era Russian one, and the smoking, and the smuggling, and aaargh. Worst week's 'holiday' ever.
(jennymnemonic, Fri 30 May 2008, 17:00, closed)

@Jugular
This particular trip involved me visiting 7 different countries - each with a different language that I didn't understand. Learning 7 languages is a bit much (although I did pick up several words of Polish on that trip). I hardly get to visit these 7 countries, but because the Trans-Siberian railway is popular amongst tourists, the dinner-ladies are exposed to non-Russian speakers practically every journey they do, so it would make sense for them to learn English.

At least I did learn the Cyrillic alphabet before I left, which is more than can be said for my friend.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 May 2008, 17:04, closed)

@jennymnemonic
If you took the direct UB-Moscow train, it wasn't the same one (unless you changed somewhere in Russia).

I originally thought about doing both ways (coming back on the Trans-Manchurian express), but was put off by the hoops I had to jump through to get a new Russian Visa so I just flew to Kiev instead.

PS. If you did the reverse-route, were the other western travellers mostly Australians and New-Zealanders? With us, it was mostly Europeans.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 May 2008, 17:11, closed)