The Poker Face
During my student years I regularly used to get the train from Newcastle to Sheffield, and being chronically disorganised I would always fail to book tickets early. I would check ticket prices online, whinge about how expensive they were and decide to make the trip for free. As neither station has gates I would usually either buy a ticket that would get me half way then pretend to be asleep (incredibly stressful, especially when the possibility of actually falling asleep and missing my stop was factored in) or not buy a ticket at all and go for the old 'expressionless mask' whereby you simply ignore the conductor when he comes along the train checking tickets (ridiculously stressful, not remotely worth it). I finally decided to start paying my way when the conductor fell over on top of me as the train rounded a corner while he was checking tickets. He then went to open the doors for the next station and on his next round he asked for my ticket. While I was going to my pocket to get my non printed ticket that I saved for emergencies (would never, ever, work) he said "Oh aye I've seen yours, I fell over on you didn't I", I nodded and realised that I'd been given a warning. I now buy a ticket for every journey, not least because when you have one and a good book public transport is an incredibly nice way to travel (if you're not on it during rush hour). Still dodge the fare on the Metro though, that's just too easy. Having said that I once vaulted over the platform wall to avoid ticket inspectors and fell about 12 feet into some bushes. In my haste to avoid paying the £10 first offence fine I almost broke both my legs. Worth it.
(Pete_G, Fri 30 May 2008, 19:10, Reply)