Train fun
Due to my Capri having a hissy fit and spitting the contents of it's sump everywhere, I once had to get the train from Banbury (where I lived) to Liverpool (where Mrs. Scouserspet lived). The journey from Banbury to Brum was uneventful, but things took an iritating twist when I got on the Brum to Liverpool train. It was packed and I ended up sat opposite some cockney wanker who had a then very much novelty mobile phone, which was about the size of an African nation that you're sure you've heard Bob Geldof talk about once, or something, maybe they're at war with someone, you know the place, got lots of Z's in the name. Anyway, he was yakking away on this thing, seemingly only ever saying "Yeah, nice one bruv!" in an increasingly annoying manner.

This was really getting on my tits, I was tempted to just chin him, but there would probably be repercusions. While I was plotting his doom in my head, I spotted the "buffet trolley" (do they still have those? I haven't taken the train anywhere since I stopped being poor) making it's way down the aisle.

Then the plan occurred.

Did I mention me a cockney wideboy were in the aisle seats? Well we were. So what I started doing was staring intently up the cariage. At first I looked puzzled, then slightly disgusted, finally switching to really quite ammused. After me staring at nothing and pulling faces for a good two minutes, wockney canker's curriosity gets the better of him and, with perfect timing, he sticks his head into the aisle to look up the carriage, just in time to get a trolley to the face.

I did laugh.
(ScousersPet, Fri 30 May 2008, 20:29, Reply)