one easter, me and the missus went for cycling holiday through dartmoor
we stayed the first night in a nice b&b farmhouse. the next morning we went to have shower, but couldn't get the shower to work. Instead we had a bath together. Apparently we must have got some water on the floor. It can't have been much, we weren't splashing around or anything. just a normal bath. Anyway, a few minutes after dressing there's a loud bang, bang, bang on our room door. The woman owner is there and she's apoplectic with rage, screaming at us about the water on the floor and then she tells us we're the worst guests she's ever had. I was struggling to process what could possibly make someone so angry but my missus is no shrinking violet, and starts yelling back that she's the worst b&b owner she ever seen and letting fly a few choice insults in her native portuguese. They started into a shouting match together, I had to drag my wife away, and I just said "you're a very rude woman" before closing the door in her face. She was a bit of a toff so I thought that might cut more than calling her a viscious old cunt.
The missus wanted to leave straight away, but I convinced her to mull it over in the nearby pub. On returning the woman was gone and her hen-pecked husband apologised and said she was stressing about some easter paegant.
I remember coming off the ferry in fishguard and banging on the door of b&b at midnight. the man kindly offered me a room and when I got to the top of the pink carpeted stairs i realised I'd tracked dogshit up each step. and he didn't even say boo.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 20:45, 4 replies)

Burning rookie policement in wicker effigies can be a stressful experience.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 21:02, closed)

you might be on to something there

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 2:19, closed)

dogshit on the carpet is seen as a bit of a luxury in Fisghuard

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 21:14, closed)

It's the only protein most of them get

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 16:24, closed)