New Years PUNCH IN THE FACE
one New Year's Eve after leaving a house party I was walking home.

Very young (about 21) and that drunk, the drunk feeling where you realise that everyone thinks you are a wanker, and you know you are a wanker but when you think you are a wanker and they think you are a wanker it cancels out in your head and you become a super hero!?

Yeah that's how pissed I was.

I leave a New Year's Eve party at my friends house I head back to my parents (in Runcorn they are a cunts)

I am having my epiphany moment where everything is great it's about 3:00am and I am so drunk my feet feel like I have hollowed out two small children and wearing them as slippers.

When across the street in the first I see a man with his hands around a woman's neck. The poor lass....my children feet take me over to the exciting thing that is happening. Where I hear a voice say "oi mate what the fuck get your hands off her" I look around scared...who said that....I look at the two dead children I am wearing as gloves as well as shoes now...and then I realise this fucking monster has his hands around MY FUCKING THROAT.

Then I have to conclude I was thrown through the front window of a ford focus that was actually moving not hair parked.

Moral of the story...don't read my stories. Also don't try and save a bitch if she is getting choked out on New Year's Eve and you have dead children for footwear.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 23:56, Reply)