Pure fury, unbelievable retardation.
A few years back me and a few friends went to visit another friend of ours who was unfortunately living in Cambridge at the time. It was his birthday and so we were planning on surprising him by turning up unnanounced at this house party he was going to. Surprise occured, mission accomplished, merriment had and beer was drained like a lanced boil from whence it came.

It had gotten to the point, not where every one was dropping like flies, but where people are slowly taking up the comfy couches and cushions etc and drifting off into an unfulfilled light sleep. One of the group, Big Mike, had poached a couple of pillows and a spot on the floor. Now, we call him Big Mike because a) his name is Mike and b) he is built like a 6'4" grizzly bear. Not toned and chiselled like one of those oh-so-many one size too small t-shirt wearing fools that brags about how much they can 'bench', but equally he's not got a Jabba the Hutt physique. He's just 'big'. And he also sleeps like a bear too, which is why the comparison is apt.

The stragglers, myself included (there were 4 of us) had taken up the seats round the table near to where Big Mike was sleeping, when, for no reason other than he must've just gone full retard, our friend Pete walks over and punches Big Mike in the balls.

He wasn't happy.

Big Mike isn't just like a bear when he sleeps. He was awake and moving the fastest I've ever seen anyone move, and considering he'd just been hit in the balls it was damn impresive that he wasn't still on the ground weeping like a sailors wife looking at a storm. He immediately had one hand around Pete's neck and the other pulled back to hit him. Me and the other two guys who'd been awake got in the middle and were just holding on to his arms, going "whoa whoa stop no" etc etc, I believe the phrase "WE NEED HIM ALIVE" was even shouted.

It was an incredibly tense probably 30 seconds but felt like a good 10 minutes, and Big Mike eventually let go and settled back down to sleep.
We couldn't believe how stupid Pete was or why he'd even done that and to this day he doesn't know, but all was patched up (balls included) and we're all still good friends to this day. We occasionally revisit that night to other peoples entertainment when on the subject of stupidity or rage, so at least we got entertainment out of it after.

TL DR: tough. Go back.

Apologies for length etc but it's better then being punched in the knackers.
(Panzerfaust, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 2:40, Reply)