There's a time and a place to piss me off.
But it's not in this universe.

Years ago, I used to work summer overflow for a small frozen food firm. Basically, you got a small lorry, and delivered ice cream and catering supplies. I had the job through an agency; it paid less than the staff rate, but that was HGV agency work in the early 90s.

Then the agency went bust. I went to the frozen food people, and offered to work direct while the summer rush was on. I asked for the staff rate, but they wouldn't give it to me. Well, jobs were hard to come by, so I carried on. Of course I started looking for other jobs, and I found one (which turned out worse, but that's another post).

Now for my revenge!

The firm's owner had 2 sons, each a twat in his own way. The older one had just acquired a 2nd hand M5 BMW, and as the firm had just announced there was to be no pay rise that year, everyone assumed that he was driving around in it. The younger son had been privately educated, and considered himself God's gift. He combined idleness with incompetence, and the special charm of the very minor public schoolboy.

Every morning, the loads would be brought out of the cold store, and we'd all help each get the stuff on by hand. We're talking upwards of 3 tons per vehicle, over 100 boxes each, with maybe 30+ deliveries. On this morning I made sure the Junior Twat would be after me. Sure enough, he and I were the last ones left. I helped him load his, then I asked him to help me with mine.

"Oh, you don't mind doing yourself, do you?"

"YES I FUCKING WELL DO YOU LITTLE CUNT! NOW TAKE THE JOB AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR DAD'S ARSE!" I flounced off, but not before I'd thrown the delivery notes, all sorted into drop order, high into the air.

I was in my new job next morning. And three weeks later my neighbour's son, who also worked there, informed me the pay rise had been reinstated.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 22 May 2008, 23:44, Reply)