Redundancy
About a year ago I was made redundant after the company I worked for was bought out by a rival. I ended up leaving with about three months salary as a payoff, which is nice, and a serious grudge against the guy that pushed me.

I remember during one of the meetings he offered me another position which had become available, involving a relocation 100 miles away to head office and a 25% pay decrease. The job? Warehouse shelf stacking. No, ta. But that's not why I dislike him, just an indicator of what kind of cloud cuckoo land he lived on.

At our final meeting, I made it clear that I had no hard feelings and I offered my services as a consultant should the need arise. He looked down at me condescendingly and simply said "We won't be needing that" with a horrid little grin on his face.

Within a week of leaving my old boss phones. She wonders if I would be interested in any consultancy work. Of course extra cash is extra cash, and I take up the opportunity to visit this new head office for a while and rub it in smarmy gits face.

Oddly enough, I didn't see him whilst I was there. He kept himself hidden away, which is probably for the best really. What I did see was a finance department who were struggling against the backlog and costs of paying their own staff (twelve months later apparently they still haven't paid many agents for work done).

I saw a customer services department who complain bitterly about the work they have to do... but don't get off their lazy arses and actually do it, instead chatting merrily and sending emails back and forth. Naturally they then got annoyed when customers complained that they hadn't received their products, and moan about being "overstretched".

I met the Network Administrator who looked like he had stumbled in after taking a wrong turn in the 1970s with qualifications in plumbing rather than IT.

Basically about 50% of the staff members were not suitable or even capable of doing their jobs.

I was taken to one side by a member of Senior Management who told me he was keen to "get me back on board" and that the other guy "had made a mistake." I politely told him I wasn't interested and I now read with glee the slow downfall of their empire in the trade papers, very grateful that I am not a part of it. There's no way anyone could save that sinking ship and by giving me a push to begin with I had a much shorter distance to swim to shore.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Mon 26 May 2008, 10:22, Reply)